It's Not You, It's Her

Let me set up the scenario.

You are a man.

You see a woman.

You ask the woman out.

She rejects you.

You get angry and yell at her and make everyone in the vicinity hate you.

…

One of the pieces of this puzzle seems irrational.

This feels like it shouldn’t have to be said but,

You are not allowed to get mad at someone for rejecting you.

The moment you decide to rationalize that any differently, you are wrong.

Anyone who has experienced this knows that the type of rejection doesn’t matter.

Kind rejection = explosion

Blunt rejection = explosion

Is the idea that you’ll scare us into going out with you? Or that all your rantings about how ‘We blew our chance’ will somehow make us see how great you are?

You are the worst kind of person.

Here is the scenario every girl dreams of but very few have seen.

You are a man.

You see a woman.

You ask the woman out.

She rejects you.

You realize that the moment you decided to put yourself on the line and ask her to take a chance on you that you may have to deal with some uncomfortable feelings. You know that asking someone to go out with you is a risk no matter how much or how little they know you personally. You understand that the entire situation is not about how you feel but about how she feels. This is because you have already taken the time to think about it and plan what to say and organize your many different feelings on the subject. You know she hasn’t had the processing time that you have and that you are springing this on her. You also are assured that if she wants to change her mind then she may take that opportunity later and you need not berate her with texts, making yourself seem even less ideal as a dateable human being. If there is no change of heart, you still understand that it’s not your problem. You will be just fine. And she will be just fine. And if you feel a little down on yourself, that is okay. It’s not her fault because your worth doesn’t rest in the hands of another person. You would never blame someone else for your own problems and you would never speak poorly of that person even if they weren’t as tactful as they could have been. You would not curse at them or threaten them just to save face. Because that is hurtful and also because that doesn’t save face at all but actually makes you look even worse. You care about other people and that is what makes you a good catch so you need not behave like a terrible human.

You do not rape anyone.

...

I’d say this one ends a little more successfully.

I don't want to take pictures of Trash. I don't think people will think that's Pretty

My son has developed a new hobby; doing whatever Dad does.

Dad has been taking pictures.

Four year olds have a different view of the world. Mostly it's a short view.

For a while he watched his Dad taking photos of an old, dilapidated building. He thought that was weird. People don't like trash, he said to me. What pictures do you want to take, I asked.

Houses.

Let's go see what Dad's up to.

I want to pick a different place.

Well, let's wait until Dad's done.

Let's cross the street.

Do you want to go?